Antisocial Media

February 4th, 2010

Ever go to an industry event and just know from the moment you see the line at the door that it’s going to be…oh, how to describe it? As much an anthropological experience as anything else?

Just curious.

Anyway, in an unrelated story, last night we went to a “social media event.” You know, the kind of mixer where “social media gurus” pontificate on How to Get More Facebook Fans or Turn your Twitter Followers Into Ca$h.

Why were we there? Todd was meeting an old friend (who really IS an expert in social media), and we figured it might be an opportunity to network. (Or at least drink some free beers. What? Cash bar? Damnit!)

As we walked up to the line at the door, it became pretty clear what we were in for as we gazed upon an army of dudes. Reminiscent of Vegas during the first round of March Madness, it didn’t get much better once we stepped inside. Of about 150 attendees, there were maaaaybe 25 women. Not that we’re there to get dates (well, Todd wasn’t), but come on, that should tell you something about how awkward this thing is going to be.

Just a few of the fascinating types we encountered:

The Unknown

You have no idea what this guy does. Neither does he, or at least he can’t articulate it. Examples include “I’m in a bunch of different niche markets,” or “it’s hard to explain” followed by silence. He’s been at it (whatever it is) for ten years and still hasn’t outgrown his basement. If there’s a station with free food, you can find him there.

The Lifer

This isn’t his first rodeo. Nor his second, third or fifth. The Lifer is proud of the fact that he regularly attends these events, and even prouder to point out that “there are usually more women.” He probably has a company you’ve never heard of with a name you don’t understand and an explanation you don’t want to hear. He gets off on loudly and publicly greeting everyone he recognizes from previous events like it’s the first day of school.

The I-Swear-It’s-Different

A startup-scene staple, the ISID has come up with something completely original…sorta. For example: “I’ve created a social network that lets you control who can see different parts of your profile.” “Uh…you mean like Facebook lets you do now?,” you might ask. “Well, it’s like Facebook, but better.” When pressed further, the ISID can’t come up with another reason you should use his product. Nobody is sure why he’s there.

These are just three of the many species you may run into should you find yourself a guest of one of these events. Of course, to be fair, we have to admit that there is a fourth type of person:

The Skeptic

When you’ve been to enough of these things, it’s difficult to always be completely objective and open-minded about the experience. To be even more honest, we didn’t stay for all of the company presentations. There may have been some good ones.

We were just…skeptical. (How can you avoid being skeptical when two of the presenting companies had unstaffed tables with collateral material and…mints?)

Seems that to enjoy these kinds of events – it’s best to just go in knowing what you’re likely to get. Just as it’s rare for a 15-seed to knock off a 2-seed in the first round of the NCAA Tournament (see what I did there? I brought it back to my March Madness reference), it’s also unlikely that huge amounts of business will be done. Beats sitting in the office, though.

Ever been to one of these? What’d you think?